The Good News and the Bad News

First, I have to say that the comments on the blog (Jodi sent, Thanks!) and all your e mails have reduced me to a crying mess. Yesterday was the hardest day of our lives. When we woke up we knew that we had an incredibly sweet baby with some serious problems. It was even harder to go down to breakfast and see the other babies eating away and Luke too weak to do anything but look at everything going on. Yesterday morning was the day we all were to go to officially adopt our babies. Evelyn our guide came to our table and told us that she was worried about Luke and had called the Doctor to come see him. The lowest point of this journey was when she said to us, "Do you want to stay back at the hotel and wait until you hear what the doctor has to say?" Not adopt Luke? I felt like I was sinking into a deep hole. Mike felt utterly helpless. I told her that we would be going to the office to adopt no matter what. She hugged me and said she understood, and that she had to ask. the 3 of us, well four including Luke, had a little huddle in the hotel lobby and Mike and I got strong. There was never any question of whether or not we wanted him, but we were completely blindsided by not knowing what his disabilities will be. It was like we were grieving for our son's trauma and not knowing what it is. We decided to attack this despite not having any treatment plan. He's our son...period.

Now I have read about every blog under the sun, researched attachment, delay, and I'm in special ed, and Mike is a counselor for crying out loud, you'd think we would have had a handle on what was going on, but we didn't. He is interactive, weak, tiny, not cute tiny, scary tiny.

Anyway, as the day went on, we started to see alot of personality in our little boy, he just shows it in tiny ways. If you are not looking for it, you'll miss it. Casey had him giggling a tiny giggle that if you didn't know it, you might have missed it. His little eyebrows pop up and down when he is amused, like when daddy makes funny noises for him its so cute!

Well,the doctor came at 2:30. Luke was taking a nap, so we had to wake him up. He cryed briefly until he saw Casey's face and then grinned at her immediately. We sat there and watched him thouroughly, and I mean thoroughly examine him. Took his clothes off, listened to his heart, lungs, felt what seemed like every bone in his body, bent every joint, looked at his little crooked feet, and talked to him, to make him look to the left and right, etc etc. Little Luke just lay there and smiled at him. I think it was that point, watching his little tiny body in those big hands and his little smile I fell in love with him. I loved him before, but oh my God, he's a great baby! I looked at Mike and his eyes were filled with tears. I know it sounds so corny, but it is the way it happened. The doctor then talked for EVER in Chinese with Evelyn,while we waited on pins and needles. Finally Evelyn told us that the doctor believes that Luke is fine neurologically, and his feet will be no problem with treatment, but that he is suffering stage 3 malnourishment. He must eat more, and also more than a bottle . We have to put more rice cereal in each bottle of formula, and give him 6 bottles of 200cc a day, plus a special vitamin A and D suppliment and a Calcium suppliment. When he saw the amount that the orphanage had written down that he was eating, even I recognized a scoff in Mandarin! He showed us where his tiny bones were too small, and sticking out too far and I won't describe this because it is too painful. Then he said that this is reversable, and he will be okay, but he MUST eat more now, and get his vitamins, and learn to eat solids. I asked like a dummy, "But how did this happen?" And he talked a long time to Evelyn and her simple answer, maybe diplomatic, was, "We don't know."

Mikeand I had a moment after the doc left in the bathroom, we had a lot yesterday, while Casey the wonderchild played with Luke, then started our new regimen. Eat, play, eat , play, eat eat eat. Mike stayed with the little Jun bug while Casey and I braved the city of Nanchang, and got more supplies, a hat to fit his little head (Thanks Kim!), and his vitamins. When we got back, Mike had Luke batting at a toy and playing the shaking head game and I got him to kick a toy over and over much to his delight. Last night at 2:30 he was sort of awake, and so I made up a bottle and when I gave it to him, at first he was mad and confused, then he was so funny, he started sucking it down making the funniest little happy noises, like he couldn't believe his good fortune!

I will close with one more thank you to all of the friends who we know and don't know who sent us encouragement, we are reading and re reading them, and will try to get back to you. We can feel you strength and it helps so much!!! I think we will not be touring much, but just staying here with our little Jun Bug watching him grow.

Here is picture of our new friend Evelyn meeting us at the airport. She is a ROCKSTAR!!